From the pages of Mata Harian...(2)

In today's Mata Harian:

Christians offer Muslims the use of 'Jesus Christ'

by Yu See Lee

GUNUNG RAPAT: In another twist in the controversial saga, Malaysian Catholics have offered to Malaysian Muslims the use of the words 'Jesus Christ' in return for allowing them the use of the word 'Allah' in their Catholic weekly, The Herald.

'This is our way of expressing gratitude, a way of saying "no hard feelings, eh, chaps?"' said a member of the church body who declined to be named.

This has resulted in yet another controversy, this time among Catholics who protest the decision.

'We have been using the name Jesus Christ for centuries, even millennia. We called him Jesus Christ our saviour back when the Bible was only being read by the unwashed Hebrews,' said Yvette Yvangel. 'It's just not fair to let the Muslims have their way with it now."

Many others are also dismayed with the decision, especially those who were vocal against the government ban on the use of 'Allah' in The Herald. 'Why should we let those Muslims say the name of God in vain, especially when they didn't let us use theirs in the first place?' said Mathias Matthew, defacto leader of the Catholics Cross With Government Brigade.

'I hope this becomes clear when you realise that if any of our fellow Catholics ever read any of their Muslim weeklies, they will get confused and start believing their insidious lies. This is because we Catholics, like all Malaysians, are stupid, and are prone to believe everything we read without critical thinking.'

Mathias Matthew also said that he was confident the Malaysian government would ban Muslims from using the words 'Jesus Christ' because he knows the government also thinks Malaysians are stupid and gullible and therefore will do the 'right thing'.

He has threatened to take the fight online, starting with a group he is starting on Facebook. 'If we can get about a million fans, then maybe we can get this overturned," he said in a passionate plea to fellow Catholics.

Most Muslims on the other hand did not know what to make of this. 'Why would I want to use Jesus Christ?' asked Dato' Seri Mohd Muhammad Mohamed, lead cleric of the Association of Muslims Who Know How to Spell Propeli. 'It's much shorter and simpler to use "Nabi Isa Alaihissalam." Well, it is, if you abbreviate the last words into two letters. It's simple. Really!'

Atheists have also gotten into the controversy. 'As supreme leader of the Cult of Ath, I also hereby grant Muslims the right to use the name "Ath" for their god,' said the supreme leader of the Cult of Ath.

However this claim has not been sanctified by rival Atheist temples such as the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Bertrand Russell's Temple of the Celestial Teapot.

Previous articles from Mata Harian:

• 'I could have done better.'
  

Neil Gaiman's Personal Library.

 

Neil Gaiman's personal library is like... well... it's like a library. A really nice and cosy library.

Tunku Halim's Speculative History.

Tunku Halim has an intriguing post which starts with the sentence:

"On 26 April 1994, in an elaborate ceremony at the Istana Negara, Tuanku Simon Mackay was appointed as Malaysia’s 10th Yang DiPertuan Agong"

 What follows is the best speculative writing I've read this year. Tunku Halim, I want more!

REVIEW: What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami.

Not really cutting edge but here's a review wot I wrote ages ago. It just got published in The Star today. How nice.

What's Up Ted.

Just a small update for you. I've just had the craziest week... and signs are pointing that the weeks to come are just going to get crazier.

Probably not as crazy as winning RM50,000 though, which I (along with my fellow team members, Ash and Lina) did.

A couple of months ago, me, Ash and Lina decided to take part in a little competition. All we had to do was send in a proposal to design a computer game.

No problem. Except that I was doing (and am still doing) the CELTA course, an intensive English teacher training course. I ended up having to accomodate sleepless nights just to get the presentation for the game proposal, my lesson plan for a class the day before the game presentation AND an assignment done in time.

So! The lesson here: burn the midnight oil if you want to end up holding a mock cheque like this:

Hurray!

3 Language-related Things Which Really Annoy Me.

1. Excuse, please.
Guys, it's "excuse me, please." Every time I hear this on the train I have to fight the urge to reply, "excuse who?" and not move aside.

2. Pronouncing the word "liaise" as "lie-us".
It's pronounced "lee-eh-zz", not "liars". I swear if I hear someone call me a liar(s) again I'm gonna punch him/her in the ear.

3. Could of, should of, would of, must of
It's could've, should've, would've, must've. Why the hell is that so hard to get???

Signed,
Ted
Your Friendly Neighbourhood Grammar Nazi

Lesson: Commemorative Covers are Lame.

Well, I got the first day cover that commemorates the 35th anniversary of the establishment diplomatic relations between China and Malaysia that I mentioned a couple of posts ago.

Except that it's not a first day cover, it's a commemorative cover, which is a slightly different beast. I guess I should read the news article properly next time!

The difference between the two is that first day covers are specially-designed envelopes stuck on with specially-designed stamps, and marked with a specially-designed postmark. A commemorative cover is a specially-designed envelope... and that's it.

All in all, it's an unremarkable affair, especially if you're used to well-designed first day covers (not that Malaysian first day covers are well-designed... but I digress). Oh sure, a commemorative cover has a stamp printed right on to it but that's just like an overglorified aerogramme. Lame.

On the whole, what a disappointment. I haven't been collecting first day covers for years and was hoping to get back into it with a really cool cover but I guess this was not to be. I was expecting much more effort for something like this. Hopefully the next one will be more interesting but I doubt it. The next theme planned is "Conservation of the Environment" which isn't exactly an inspiring theme.

My Resolution for July.

Waking up before 11am would be nice. Also might get me in less trouble at work.

UPDATE:
Epic fail. Woke up at 10 minutes to noon.

UPDATEUPDATE:
I can no longer tell the difference between June and July. DOUBLE EPIC FAIL