Attack of the Limericist.

You want poetry?!? I'll give you poetry, you hacks*!!!

Whenever you pet a cat,
Please make sure you're not a rat,
Please do be advised,
That it is unwise,
For a rat to pet a cat.

There once was a man from Peru,
Who didn't have a thing to do,
He picked up a phone,
Which had no dial-tone,
And made a call to Kathmandu.

There once was a man with a daughter,
Who wanted to marry an author,
Her father refused,
Because of the news,
That the man knew only one letter.

There once was a girl with a Volkswagen,
Who wanted to drive to Copenhagen,
But once she got there
She found it quite blehh,
And drove home again with her Volkswagen.

There once was a girl called Daisy,
Who hated the sky when hazy,
She vacuumed the air,
With her mighty derriere,
That wonderful girl called Daisy.

There was a young man in Peking,
Who declared himself to be king,
He made himself a crown,
Which kept falling down,
That silly young man from Peking.

Mwahahaha!!!

*I kid, I kid... you're all nice people really.

UPDATE:
Sharon sent me this in response:

there was a young writer called ted
let rejection letters go to his head.
at the paris review
and new york times too
by someone at least he was read!

LOL!